I think if you did what you thought was right, then that's all you can ask of yourself. You tried your best, and sometimes that's all you can do.
[She sends another message.]
Is there anything I can do to help with what happened? It sounds like it's rather complicated, but if it's bothering you that much, then I'd like to help if I can.
Your father? If he's the same as the worlds I've learned about, then I've heard that he's the one in charge of the United Future movement. He's using the Metaverse to try to take control of the Diet.
[There's a pause before another message is sent.]
I also know that multiple Akechi-sans planned revenge against him, and are usually the Black Mask in other worlds. I don't know much else though, I'm sorry.
another analogue here, one who was under direct control by Shido. To the point he wasn't able to speak negatively about him, or acknowledge the Metaverse.
I wanted to help, remove the shit that Shido put in him to make him obey, but I did so without being able to ask him if he would even consent to that
and now he's pissed because he feels like we violated his mind and now I can't
help but feel like I've done the wrong thing
am I any different from people like fucking Maruki, I
I used to be so staunchly opposed to this shit
Did I change my mind because I genuinely thought this was the better option, or because 'my' Ren wanted me to agree with his methods, so that's how Maruki created me to think
[There's a noticeable lull before the next message. She seems to be thinking heavily on how to respond.]
Phoenix-san, you're not the same as Dr. Maruki. Even if it wasn't ideal, you didn't do this to inflict your own views without caring about his own freedom. That was what you told me about Dr. Maruki, wasn't it? He imposed his own views onto others without considering their feelings? You didn't do that, you went into this with his freedom as the main concern.
I can't fault you for doing this, knowing what the problem was. I probably would have done the same in your shoes. I would have wanted him to be free from that, too. I can understand why he's angry as well, and why this is so complicated.
[There's another small pause before another quick message is sent.]
Please, trust in yourself, Phoenix-san. You aren't Dr. Maruki's pawn or some dream of Ren-senpai's. You're real, and your thoughts and feelings are real.
Allow me to be perfectly clear before I say anything else: I am still mad at you. I do not forgive you, or anyone else involved with the operation. It was unpleasant, to say the least, and a violation of my very mind. It continues to be so, and I am unsure if it will ever stop feeling like that. As I have come to understand, you have gone through something similar in your own universe, before you died, so I'm certain you know why I cannot simply forgive and forget.
However.
Our last interaction ended regrettably, not in the least because I was unable to control my emotions. I should not have called in a favor, only to then berate you for doing exactly as I asked. That was irrational on my side, and certainly not helped when Morgana butted in.
Now that I have had time to think, I suppose I am grateful that Shido's bug is gone, in part thanks to your plan. I understand that you, as well as the others, were trying to help me.
This does not take away that I was deceived, cornered, and was hacked like a common computer. Regardless of what Futaba has said, her files feel like an intrusion. A thorn I am unable to remove, so to speak. I cannot trust that they won't be exploited at one point or another. Had I had the choice, I would've liked to know what was going to happen, even though it was impossible. My luck, isn't it?
I cannot blame you, or any of the others, for doing what you did. I was dangerous, and I needed to be dealt with, for the good of everyone here. For my own good. I cannot say it has not felt good to be in charge of my own actions again, but I can only wonder how long it will last. I am wary to trust anything done to me by outsiders.
It has not been a pleasant two weeks for me, but I figured I owed you a message regarding what happened.
I may not have been thinking rationally about the whole situation. All I saw was someone like me in a situation I would've personally rather died than endure. I saw a potential solution. And I acted without really fully thinking it through. I'm not going to try and shoulder the full blame here, since there were a bunch of people involved in that operation, but I still fucked up pretty badly
I won't ask for your forgiveness, and you're sure as fuck allowed to be mad. All I'm going to ask is that, if you feel up to it in the future, you give me a chance to prove that I'm not just bullshitting you on my motives.
And maybe, after that, I hope you'll consider starting over.
I don't know what I would have done, had I seen someone in my situation. I'd rather not think about it, though I suppose there are already some other Akechis around who are not quite in their right mind. At least they are not dangerous, unlike I was.
Perhaps, I may be open to hearing you out, if you mean what you say. I just need... time. I don't know how much. I can't promise that I'll ever be fully comfortable with any of you.
Considering Igor won't let me out, though, I suppose I don't have a choice either way. Hah.
[Greetings, Phoenix. Goro has got your number from this post. Aren't you delighted?]
Hello, Phoenix. I'm sorry if this is an imposition. I'm a recent arrival, also a Goro Akechi, and I was wondering if I might ask you a couple of things.
First of all, are you still organising runs of Tartarus?
Just an opponent with a level of force we weren't prepared for. Didn't help that we hadn't previously worked together before, so we were out of sync. Little to no communication of strategies beforehand, lack of clear communication about positioning.
Just generally sloppy. Hoping to foster a better atmosphere, at least.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Bad timing again!
Date: 2024-04-13 04:49 pm (UTC)From:She has no idea.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 06:37 pm (UTC)From:is this social nicety or are you genuinely asking
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 06:43 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 07:16 pm (UTC)From:don't know what to do
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 07:35 pm (UTC)From:[She sends another message.]
Is there anything I can do to help with what happened? It sounds like it's rather complicated, but if it's bothering you that much, then I'd like to help if I can.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 07:50 pm (UTC)From:how
much do you know about my biological father, incidentally
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 08:01 pm (UTC)From:[There's a pause before another message is sent.]
I also know that multiple Akechi-sans planned revenge against him, and are usually the Black Mask in other worlds. I don't know much else though, I'm sorry.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 08:58 pm (UTC)From:another analogue here, one who was under direct control by Shido. To the point he wasn't able to speak negatively about him, or acknowledge the Metaverse.
I wanted to help, remove the shit that Shido put in him to make him obey, but I did so without being able to ask him if he would even consent to that
and now he's pissed because he feels like we violated his mind and now I can't
help but feel like I've done the wrong thing
am I any different from people like fucking Maruki, I
I used to be so staunchly opposed to this shit
Did I change my mind because I genuinely thought this was the better option, or because 'my' Ren wanted me to agree with his methods, so that's how Maruki created me to think
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 09:18 pm (UTC)From:Phoenix-san, you're not the same as Dr. Maruki. Even if it wasn't ideal, you didn't do this to inflict your own views without caring about his own freedom. That was what you told me about Dr. Maruki, wasn't it? He imposed his own views onto others without considering their feelings? You didn't do that, you went into this with his freedom as the main concern.
I can't fault you for doing this, knowing what the problem was. I probably would have done the same in your shoes. I would have wanted him to be free from that, too. I can understand why he's angry as well, and why this is so complicated.
[There's another small pause before another quick message is sent.]
Please, trust in yourself, Phoenix-san. You aren't Dr. Maruki's pawn or some dream of Ren-senpai's. You're real, and your thoughts and feelings are real.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 11:18 pm (UTC)From:but thank you, Sumire. It means more than you know.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-13 11:32 pm (UTC)From:[She doesn't press further, but she empathizes to a degree. Always hard to get the negative thoughts to stop...]
About a week after Shido's ship...
Date: 2024-04-16 09:13 am (UTC)From:However.
Our last interaction ended regrettably, not in the least because I was unable to control my emotions. I should not have called in a favor, only to then berate you for doing exactly as I asked. That was irrational on my side, and certainly not helped when Morgana butted in.
Now that I have had time to think, I suppose I am grateful that Shido's bug is gone, in part thanks to your plan. I understand that you, as well as the others, were trying to help me.
This does not take away that I was deceived, cornered, and was hacked like a common computer. Regardless of what Futaba has said, her files feel like an intrusion. A thorn I am unable to remove, so to speak. I cannot trust that they won't be exploited at one point or another. Had I had the choice, I would've liked to know what was going to happen, even though it was impossible. My luck, isn't it?
I cannot blame you, or any of the others, for doing what you did. I was dangerous, and I needed to be dealt with, for the good of everyone here. For my own good. I cannot say it has not felt good to be in charge of my own actions again, but I can only wonder how long it will last. I am wary to trust anything done to me by outsiders.
It has not been a pleasant two weeks for me, but I figured I owed you a message regarding what happened.
That is all.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-16 09:40 am (UTC)From:Yeah, it
I may not have been thinking rationally about the whole situation. All I saw was someone like me in a situation I would've personally rather died than endure. I saw a potential solution. And I acted without really fully thinking it through. I'm not going to try and shoulder the full blame here, since there were a bunch of people involved in that operation, but I still fucked up pretty badly
I won't ask for your forgiveness, and you're sure as fuck allowed to be mad. All I'm going to ask is that, if you feel up to it in the future, you give me a chance to prove that I'm not just bullshitting you on my motives.
And maybe, after that, I hope you'll consider starting over.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-16 10:40 am (UTC)From:I don't know what I would have done, had I seen someone in my situation. I'd rather not think about it, though I suppose there are already some other Akechis around who are not quite in their right mind. At least they are not dangerous, unlike I was.
Perhaps, I may be open to hearing you out, if you mean what you say. I just need... time. I don't know how much. I can't promise that I'll ever be fully comfortable with any of you.
Considering Igor won't let me out, though, I suppose I don't have a choice either way. Hah.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-16 01:33 pm (UTC)From:There's a portal spell in one of these fucking books, maybe that's another incentive to try and get the goddamn magic mojo working while I'm here
no subject
Date: 2024-04-16 04:54 pm (UTC)From:I can only wish you luck.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-01 08:20 pm (UTC)From:Hello, Phoenix. I'm sorry if this is an imposition. I'm a recent arrival, also a Goro Akechi, and I was wondering if I might ask you a couple of things.
First of all, are you still organising runs of Tartarus?
no subject
Date: 2024-05-01 11:49 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-05-01 11:55 pm (UTC)From:[If he's going into Ren's Palace, after all, he's going to need to be a lot stronger than he is.]
The other thing I wanted to ask is rather more personal, if you don't mind.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-02 03:57 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-05-02 03:59 am (UTC)From:[So let's just dive right in.]
I heard you nearly got shot during the operation with Falcon. Is that correct?
no subject
Date: 2024-05-02 04:06 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2024-05-02 04:13 am (UTC)From:What went wrong?
no subject
Date: 2024-05-02 04:32 am (UTC)From:Just generally sloppy. Hoping to foster a better atmosphere, at least.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-02 04:53 am (UTC)From:I've been in a few situations like that. But I'll level with you.
I heard you fell foul of a member of your team.