Allow me to be perfectly clear before I say anything else: I am still mad at you. I do not forgive you, or anyone else involved with the operation. It was unpleasant, to say the least, and a violation of my very mind. It continues to be so, and I am unsure if it will ever stop feeling like that. As I have come to understand, you have gone through something similar in your own universe, before you died, so I'm certain you know why I cannot simply forgive and forget.
However.
Our last interaction ended regrettably, not in the least because I was unable to control my emotions. I should not have called in a favor, only to then berate you for doing exactly as I asked. That was irrational on my side, and certainly not helped when Morgana butted in.
Now that I have had time to think, I suppose I am grateful that Shido's bug is gone, in part thanks to your plan. I understand that you, as well as the others, were trying to help me.
This does not take away that I was deceived, cornered, and was hacked like a common computer. Regardless of what Futaba has said, her files feel like an intrusion. A thorn I am unable to remove, so to speak. I cannot trust that they won't be exploited at one point or another. Had I had the choice, I would've liked to know what was going to happen, even though it was impossible. My luck, isn't it?
I cannot blame you, or any of the others, for doing what you did. I was dangerous, and I needed to be dealt with, for the good of everyone here. For my own good. I cannot say it has not felt good to be in charge of my own actions again, but I can only wonder how long it will last. I am wary to trust anything done to me by outsiders.
It has not been a pleasant two weeks for me, but I figured I owed you a message regarding what happened.
I may not have been thinking rationally about the whole situation. All I saw was someone like me in a situation I would've personally rather died than endure. I saw a potential solution. And I acted without really fully thinking it through. I'm not going to try and shoulder the full blame here, since there were a bunch of people involved in that operation, but I still fucked up pretty badly
I won't ask for your forgiveness, and you're sure as fuck allowed to be mad. All I'm going to ask is that, if you feel up to it in the future, you give me a chance to prove that I'm not just bullshitting you on my motives.
And maybe, after that, I hope you'll consider starting over.
I don't know what I would have done, had I seen someone in my situation. I'd rather not think about it, though I suppose there are already some other Akechis around who are not quite in their right mind. At least they are not dangerous, unlike I was.
Perhaps, I may be open to hearing you out, if you mean what you say. I just need... time. I don't know how much. I can't promise that I'll ever be fully comfortable with any of you.
Considering Igor won't let me out, though, I suppose I don't have a choice either way. Hah.
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About a week after Shido's ship...
Date: 2024-04-16 09:13 am (UTC)From:However.
Our last interaction ended regrettably, not in the least because I was unable to control my emotions. I should not have called in a favor, only to then berate you for doing exactly as I asked. That was irrational on my side, and certainly not helped when Morgana butted in.
Now that I have had time to think, I suppose I am grateful that Shido's bug is gone, in part thanks to your plan. I understand that you, as well as the others, were trying to help me.
This does not take away that I was deceived, cornered, and was hacked like a common computer. Regardless of what Futaba has said, her files feel like an intrusion. A thorn I am unable to remove, so to speak. I cannot trust that they won't be exploited at one point or another. Had I had the choice, I would've liked to know what was going to happen, even though it was impossible. My luck, isn't it?
I cannot blame you, or any of the others, for doing what you did. I was dangerous, and I needed to be dealt with, for the good of everyone here. For my own good. I cannot say it has not felt good to be in charge of my own actions again, but I can only wonder how long it will last. I am wary to trust anything done to me by outsiders.
It has not been a pleasant two weeks for me, but I figured I owed you a message regarding what happened.
That is all.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-16 09:40 am (UTC)From:Yeah, it
I may not have been thinking rationally about the whole situation. All I saw was someone like me in a situation I would've personally rather died than endure. I saw a potential solution. And I acted without really fully thinking it through. I'm not going to try and shoulder the full blame here, since there were a bunch of people involved in that operation, but I still fucked up pretty badly
I won't ask for your forgiveness, and you're sure as fuck allowed to be mad. All I'm going to ask is that, if you feel up to it in the future, you give me a chance to prove that I'm not just bullshitting you on my motives.
And maybe, after that, I hope you'll consider starting over.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-16 10:40 am (UTC)From:I don't know what I would have done, had I seen someone in my situation. I'd rather not think about it, though I suppose there are already some other Akechis around who are not quite in their right mind. At least they are not dangerous, unlike I was.
Perhaps, I may be open to hearing you out, if you mean what you say. I just need... time. I don't know how much. I can't promise that I'll ever be fully comfortable with any of you.
Considering Igor won't let me out, though, I suppose I don't have a choice either way. Hah.
no subject
Date: 2024-04-16 01:33 pm (UTC)From:There's a portal spell in one of these fucking books, maybe that's another incentive to try and get the goddamn magic mojo working while I'm here
no subject
Date: 2024-04-16 04:54 pm (UTC)From:I can only wish you luck.